It’s a real struggle if your man is suffering from low self-esteem issues. He might act needy, clingy, and always crave your attention. Or the opposite, he doesn’t care and acts too cold.
Either way, it can make your relationship worse.
But the good news is that this problem is not impossible to resolve. And with a little support and patience, you can play a significant role in helping him out of this distress.
Here we have listed down some science-backed ways for how to help a man with low self-esteem.
Can You Completely Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem?
Not really. Because, as a partner or a friend, if you’re the only person trying to help a man out with their low self-esteem issues, it’s not gonna work out.
But you can definitely be the one cheering them on. The real struggle will always be on his part.
What Are The Signs Of Low Self-Esteem?
You can recognize if your man has low self-esteem by these happenings in your relationship:
- Often acts needy.
- He wants your attention 24/7.
- Always checking on you when you’re out.
- Usually, do not initiate intimate affections.
- Can’t accept compliments about him.
What Causes Low Self-Esteem In Men?
Psychology says all of our problems have their roots in our childhood. The negative experiences we face in our early years matter a lot to our self-image.
If a man has low self-esteem, he might have faced these issues in his life:
- Punishments or neglect from parents.
- Facing unrealistic expectations.
- Abusive parents, teachers, or a friend.
- Deficit of warmth and affection.
How Can Good Self-Esteem Help You Through Difficult Situations?
A high self-esteem man can better steer through life than with low self-esteem. These people can accept the hurdles in their way of success and struggle hard to overcome them.
Their good self-esteem helps them handle difficult situations with more confidence. They are better in their lows because they know how to get through life and conquer.
How To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem
Here are 12 ways you can learn to know how to build a man’s confidence. So he can take steps toward his high esteemed self.
(1) Don’t Overdo Compliments:
After finding that your man is low self-esteem person, you might think to shoot him with hundreds of compliments and affirmations. But according to psychology, it doesn’t do any good—but possibly more harm.
So what’s the best way to realize his worth?
Whenever he tries to decline his capabilities, don’t disagree at once. First, acknowledge what he says and then discuss why he thinks so.
This way, you can go to the root of the problem and address it with him more maturely.
(2) Recognize and Accept Their Emotions:
Telling low self-esteem men that they’re stupid to feel these tiny things can be your biggest mistake.
No matter how much you put him high in regard, he has some self-loathing thoughts in his head. He might ride on a roller coaster of emotions all the time. And at this point, it’ll be hard for you to accept his overthinking.
The best way to deal with it is to let him express his emotions and accept them. So you both will figure out a way out of this.
(3) Resist Destructive Self Talk In Constructive Manner:
A person with low self-esteem is often inclined to talk negatively. Set a rule not to allow him to say bad words about him.
Don’t allow bad talk, comparisons, and depreciation.
Like in any situation, if he says he isn’t doing pretty well, ask him why he thinks so? Do this every time to prevent him from talking negatively.
(4) Think Before You Speak:
A tiny criticism can stick to the heads of the men with low self-esteem—even if you didn’t mean it.
Well, it doesn’t mean you have to check every word before speaking. The idea is to know what their insecurities and pet peeves are so you don’t hit them unintentionally.
(5) Be Patient With Them:
Sometimes it could be frustrating to help a man with low self-esteem. Even though he loves you a lot, you need to accept he hates himself even more.
At times, you’ll find him careless, unreasonable, and unthankful. And it may lead you to think this problem is impossible to solve. But you just need to give him some time and space so he better himself figure out the things.
(6) Encourage Self Love:
Self-love and self-esteem go hand in hand. In the journey of building self-esteem, one cannot neglect to love himself.
So to help a man with low self-esteem, you need to convince him to do things for himself. Compel him to do the stuff by which he can get a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
Find things that he loves to do—by which he gets his energy. You can even do these activities with him.
Moreover, you can encourage him to build firm boundaries with others so he can protect his inner self in a better way.
(7) Let Him Do Things Independently:
If you wanna truly help your man, stop acting like his babysitter. People with low self-esteem often search for support systems in their therapists, friends, and partners.
But it can be toxic for their growth. However, the right thing to do is to indulge him in challenges. Try to put him in situations in which there is nobody to save him except himself.
Overcoming these challenges does magic to grow self-worth, and he’d start feeling proud of himself.
(8) Don’t Tell Him How To Think:
The odds are that you might be telling your man things like—” you shouldn’t feel this” or “try to be positive.”
Don’t urge him to act fake.
Instead, what’s better is to let him feel what he feels and try to indulge him in different thought patterns by questioning his feelings—in a polite way, though.
(9) Don’t Be Afraid To Address Problems:
You might slide the arguments under curtains every time you wanna address a problem. Because you don’t wanna hurt him. But that’s not the ultimate solution, though.
By avoiding communication, your partner might shut his mouth and be even more insecure. Don’t allow the communication gap to worsen the situation and TALK about it.
If you’re having a problem with his behaviour, address it. Because in the long run, you may burn out from all the mess and give up on him.
(10) Set The Boundaries:
As you tell your man to set boundaries, do the same for yourself.
No matter what, your partner is always responsible for his behaviour. Define your boundaries and tell him the consequences. Every time he crosses them, you need to be inflexible.
Because at the end of the day, you’re a human being and your own well-being is also essential.
(11) Be There For Him But Be Firm:
One of the most critical things to know when helping a man with low self-esteem is to make him realize that the self-growth journey can be set by himself only. You’re just there to help.
If you want his good, you need to be a bit bad sometimes. Be there for him in any pain but don’t let him depend on you.
In brief, make him do things for himself but make sure to offer your shoulder every time he passes through a tough time.
(12) Suggest Professional Help:
In the end, if you feel the person has some deeper issues that just your help can’t do any good, suggest professional help.
You can wisely approach this conversation so that your man doesn’t be offensive and defensive. And don’t be surprised if your advice would be rejected at once. Try to convince him in different moments and assure him of your support as well.
You May Also Like: 15 Best Self Help Books For Men That Actually Work